'Mostly okay' just doesn't seem good enough. So i'm going to make a short list of pros and cons:
Great things about my life:
- My gorgeous son, I live for him - he is the absolute bees knees and I don't know where i'd be without him
- My job - it's brilliant, I work with the most fantastic bunch of people
- I finally have my own home - no more renting
- I have a couple of very close friends who I couldn't live without
- Singing in the band - we're not that good, but I love it
Crap things about my life:
(obviously I can't put everything in here but i'll generalise)
- My 'mostly okay' marriage
- DH's temper
- DH's drinking
- Being tired and stressed all the time
- Living on the edge all the time worrying about what might happen
- The fact that DH is half-arsed about everything in life
- That DH thinks he does so much around the house (just ask him) but in fact what he does do is (yep, you guessed it) half arsed and not really worth his allegedly projected effort or the praise he expects to receive afterwards.
- DH's blasé attitude to most things in life ("she'll be right") - such as money, relationships (not just ours but with his mother, his brother, his daughter - she doesn't live with us and we only see her about once a month) saying the wrong thing in public, upsetting people - I could go on forever but perhaps that will do for now.
Maybe I shouldn't be posting this today as it's a bit too personal. This is supposed to be a weight loss blog afterall. Plus I said I wouldn't whinge or complain in my new blog and I think this is the first time I have.
Posts like this normally bring out the anonymous loonies who love to leave their opinions but not their names. Bring it on .....
13 comments:
I think it's good to get it all out and have a vent - I hope you are feeling better. I can't really give any advice about hubby - but I do understand, You could have described mine (he's not like that all the time though:)
*hugs*
Geez -will blogger ever stop having problems ???????? Will mail you with what I said before - that way I know you'll get it !!!
Cheers for now.
Me
I don't believe in NOT whinging or complaining on your blog... ha, you just have to read my stuff to know that. Seriously, you can't just be a happy ray of sunshine all the time and often the eating problems are related to supressing the bad feelings. Much better to get it out here than to bury it in a packet of tim tams.
You can turn off anon comments. I have cos I think people should take responsibility for what they say.
I don't think you should feel you have to hold back in your blog for any reason. If you want a rant today that's what blogger is for, if you want to sing songs of praise tomorrow that's what blogger is for. You can share with blogger and with friends how you feel.
HUGE hugs to you hunny! I hope getting it off your chest has been a help.
Even if it is a weightloss blog - all this emotional stuff surrounding your life has alot to do with your weight. And a you can blog about whatever you please - It's YOUR blog!
Never feel like you have to hold back darl. It is so important to be able to say how we feel. A lot of our emotional baggage is tied to our weight, and how we use food to make us feel better, so it's so important to get it out there, regardless of what other people might think.
All I can say is that life is too short to settle for second best and "mostly ok", and it's a question of whether you stay in your situation and accept it, or do something about it, however hard that might be. But it's a decision only you can make.. as was said to me over and over these past few months :)
I'm always here if you want to talk. Love you heaps darl xoxoxoxo
Sorry I wasn't here for a talk Bri. I know just how you feel and you know I undrestand all to well teh problems with DH. As for blogging about it..well this is your blog. Write what you want to and you know it feels better to get it off your chest and write it down. People here will give you support know matter what you are feeling. Lotsa hugs.
I've had to tackle the drinking issue with my man - to the stage of issuing an ultimatum. He stopped drinking over 6 years ago and it has made an ENORMOUS difference to our lives - and my happiness.
Don't settle for things you don't like - and decide whether or not they are worth the fight.
Sorry to read this post, and hope you can work through your issues with DH. You deserve to be treated like a princess, don't ever forget that.
I hope it has helped you to blog about your problems. I don't know why life has to be so hard sometimes. I hope he wakes up to himself and gets help before it is too late and he ends up a lonely old man. Look after yourself and do whatever makes you happy. xx
I can't help but wonder, did Philippa's confessional bring yours on? I think you're both very brave for putting yourselves out there and blogging about it, I really hope putting it into words helped. It must be incredibly difficult to look at things evenly when two of the most wonderful elements in your life (your gorgeous son and own house) are tied in with one of the not so good things. I really hope you work out what's best for you and make the most of it.
There was a point in mine and Blair's relationship where I had to lay down an ultimatum with the drinking. I didn't demand he give up fully but the continuous acting like a 20 year old was driving me up the wall. I still find him negative and it is hard when you try to be positive and the other half of you is always looking at the negative side of life. You do have some fabulous positives in life and you may just need to concentrate on them and take some time out to decide whether you are living up to your promise to yourself about not settling for second best.
Hi Bri - didn't see this post yesterday and I hope you are feeling a bit better today. Alot of people have calendar's at work where at the end of the day they put through a green cross for a good day or a red cross for a bad day. If the red crosses are outweighing the green then it's time to take some sort of action. Maybe doing this at home will help. As you said, you've been there twice before already. On a positive - I love your 'great' list.
Oh hon, this is the golden question. Do I stay or do I go? I think you have a lot of talking to do before you make any decision. Can you talk to your partner? Do you think some kind of counselling could help? Some things are worth fighting for but only if the thing your fighting isn't in vain. Look deep into your heart and use your noggin' too.
We're here for you babe, every step of the way and don't you dare feel bad or guilty for what you ultimately end up deciding. Life is not meant to be "mostly okay" and living with someone else's temper and alcoholism is seriously not cool either, especially when children are involved.
I sincerely hope that whatever you decide, you are able to come through this with as little damage to your psyche as possible. You are a beautiful woman Briony and one that is independant and will have a better life. Communication is the key.
Please know that we are all here for you in blogland. Big {{{HUGS}}}!
x
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